When you’re in a new relationship, there are a lot of nerve-wracking milestones. The first date. The first kiss. The first trip together. And the most nerve-wracking of them all: the first time meeting the parents.
I don’t think anybody is ever excited to meet the parents, or introduce their parents. Even if you’re like me and have parents who are incredibly friendly and very easy to get along with (no interrogation and only mildly inappropriate family stories), it’s still scary.
Even if things go off perfectly, there’s still the feeling of judgement in the air. They’re looking at you and wondering if you’re good enough, if you deserve to be with their son or daughter. And you’re looking at them wondering if you could handle them as your in-laws, should the relationship come to that. And if things don’t go perfectly, well, then they could be pretty scary.
There is one way to avoid potential meet-the-parents fiasco: just don’t meet them. At least not for awhile. Annie Dinn says she’s going to put off having her current guy meet her parents for as long as possible. The first possible meet-up between them is the Royals home opener next spring.
Her reasoning for keeping the boyfriend and the parents apart for so long? She’s been burned by introducing guys who turned out to be less-then-stellar boyfriends. She doesn’t want to do that anymore.
“I just don’t want to introduce my parents to anyone that isn’t worth it anymore,” she says. “When you introduce a guy to your family, it’s not just you that’s in the relationship anymore.”
And even if you end up loving the parents, complications could arise. If you become close to them and then the relationship ends, you’re left dealing with the loss of your relationship with not only your significant other, but your fantastic, once-future in-laws as well.
“Nothing’s worse than when you love the parents more than you love him,” Emily Selz says.
So maybe holding off on meeting the parents is the way to go, save it until you’re sure the relationship is a lasting one. Of course, then again, if the parents are crazy, it could be better to find out sooner rather than later.