Animal rights extremists must be dancing in the streets after a law in Switzerland recently passed. With utter disbelief and a little laughter, I read through this new law imagining the Swiss people dealing with some of the outlandish details they will have to put up with starting this

September.

The new law clarifies the acceptable treatment of what the Swiss have labeled “social animals.” Just what is a social animal? Apparently, the vast majority of the animal kingdom has been lumped into this group including everything from pets like dogs and cats, to livestock, fish, birds, and even larger critters like rhinos.

In a nutshell, the law states violators could be charged with animal abuse if any of these “social animals” are not allowed to cohabit, or stay in close contact, with others of their own kind. The law also requires certain pet owners and sportsmen to take courses on caring for and understanding the animals physical and psychological needs.

In the United States, we consider dogs to be “man’s best friend.” The Swiss apparently feel that “men” are taking advantage of this friendship and need to take a two-part course on recognizing not only how to care for the daily needs such as feeding and walking the animals but also their emotional needs before ownership is allowed.

Dog owners aren’t the only ones in for a surprise. Farmers now will be barred from restraining or tethering horses, sheep, and goats — or separating them from others of their species. The new regulation also makes it clear that pigs and cows are not to reside in areas with hard flooring.

It doesn’t stop there. If you own a goldfish in Switzerland, you’d better buy it a partner so that it doesn’t get lonely. Swiss fish must also be allowed to experience the cycle of day and night in terms of light in a natural manner so be sure to shut off your aquarium lights when you go to bed.

If one of these little fish becomes ill, owners aren’t allowed to simply flush “Old Goldy” down the toilet. Special chemicals are required to euthanize it, since flushing it down the toilet has been deemed undignified.

While all this seems a bit far fetched, the most shocking part of the new law involves fishing. To insure Swiss anglers pursue their sport with the utmost compassion, the new regulation will ban the practice of catch-and-release fishing and also the use of live bait.

While the entire Swiss population of worms and minnows will breathe a major sigh of relief, the Swiss idea of compassionate behavior is a bit bizarre to say the least. Since the Swiss don’t want to physically or psychologically harm their wild fish populations, the practice of catching a fish for sport and returning them back to the water unharmed is a thing of the past.

I suppose the fish must get pretty embarrassed when they are caught and released after falling for an angler’s bait or lure. How can we expect them to return to their buddies with any hint of pride and face the humiliation and mockery that will ensue?

The innovative Swiss have come up with a solution. Their new law apparently states any fish caught must be killed immediately by whacking it on the head with a heavy blunt instrument. Obviously, this is much kinder and more dignified than returning it to the water to continue its life.

To the majority of us, these ideas seem off the charts, but it only goes to show how emotions can override common sense and sound, scientifically backed management principles. While Swiss laws don’t seem to have much relevance here in the heartland of America, it does demonstrate the changing mentality of a world that grows smaller and smaller every day.