Photo by Jessica Stewart / St. Joseph News-Press / Purchase this photo

Cathy Newberry, left, along with others in the divorce relationship recovery class pray before they begin.

Reading the woman by her devastation, it was obvious her divorce was recent.

That’s what Judy Johnson thought, anyway, until she learned otherwise. The woman actually had been divorced 25 years — a complete quarter of a century. But despite the well-known saying, time clearly hadn’t healed all her wounds.

Of course, if time alone were enough, Mrs. Johnson and her husband, Bob, would not have felt led to begin leading a divorce- and relationship-recovery class at Riverside Church in St. Joseph about a decade ago to help people heal from marriages and other significant relationships that have fallen apart. Having both been through divorce before meeting each other — her once, him twice — the Johnsons know well the pain that comes with it.

But they also know it’s possible to make the pain a part of the past.

“When divorce happens, you’re devastated,” Mrs. Johnson says. “But our emphasis always is the Lord and his work in our lives, giving us the comfort and strength to recover.”

She and her husband teach this in 12-week sessions comprised of weekly classes. At 7 p.m. every Wednesday, class members gather around a table to go through a workbook that deals with issues such as grief, anger, forgiveness and self-esteem. They learn to let go of the past and the unhealthy relationships in it, to create healthy friendships and to deal with new circumstances — such as single parenthood — that they may be facing.

Perhaps most of all, they begin to hope that maybe the future could hold something for them other than their regrets from the past.

“We in no way advocate divorce,” Mrs. Johnson says, “but we know God doesn’t give up on people who have been divorced. He still has plans for us, and he doesn’t throw us out.”

This is something Mendy Arnold of Savannah, Mo., needed to know — so much so she’s been through the 12-class session three times. It was exactly what she was looking for, and when she finally found it, she also found more than only what the workbook offered.

“It was so helpful just to be around people who were going through the same thing as me,” she says. “With all you’re feeling after a divorce, you sometimes think you might be crazy. But there, I could see I wasn’t alone, and that what I was feeling was normal.”

Of course, recovery often isn’t achieved in 12 weeks — or even, for class repeaters like Ms. Arnold — in several 12-week sessions. With this in mind, Ms. Arnold and some other members of the class she attended in early 2007 decided to continue meeting monthly as a kind of support group.

“We thought enough of one another we didn’t want to leave each other,” says Carol Vail, another member of the group. “This group is the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me feel like I belonged somewhere — like I was with family.”

Unlike the recovery class, the support group is more about providing a social outlet than a setting for study and reflection. Group members meet for holiday parties and cookouts and other just-for-fun activities — many of which are open to children.

“Kids are the ones hurt in divorce, and this gives them a chance to have a new beginning, too,” says Maureen Power, another member of the group.

And at its core, this really is what the group is: a chance to begin again even for people who may have thought everything was over. What reflects this better than anything, perhaps, is the fact that as of next month, the group will have two re-married members.

“There’s so much healing that has to take place in people who have gone through divorce,” Mr. Johnson says. “But we’ve had people who have gotten in shape enough to love again.”

Reach out

for recovery

The divorce- and relationship-recovery class led by Bob and Judy Johnson meets from 7 to 8:30 p.m. Wednesdays at Riverside Church, 5401 Mitchell Ave. in St. Joseph. People of all faiths are welcome, and there is no charge. The next 12-week class session will begin in January, but people are welcome to begin attending classes at any time. For more information, call the Johnsons at 387-7424 or Riverside Church at 279-6422.

Lifestyles reporter Erin Wisdom can be reached at ewisdom@npgco.com.