Speaker Ted Bunch has a message for men, one that he will share at a parenting workshop Oct. 21.

Be a parent.

“It’s really much more than sending a check every month,” he says.

Mr. Bunch, a co-founder of the A Call to Men: The National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence Against Women, will be sharing his message at a workshop sponsored by the YWCA in conjunction with the Week Without Violence Committee. The workshop, “Practical Approaches for Men to Become More Effective Parents,” will be held from 1 to 3:30 p.m. Oct. 21 at the American Red Cross at 401 N. 12th St. The workshop is free, but interested people should RSVP to the YWCA at 232-4481.

Effective parenting is not just a women’s issue, it’s a community issue, says Kim Carroll, YWCA victim services director.

“We want healthy families and healthy relationships,” she says.

And a healthy family includes both the man and woman parenting, even if he isn’t the custodial parent.

Many times when men “leave the relationship, they leave the children, too,” Mr. Bunch says. And, men often blame women for becoming pregnant and then having the child. That has to stop, he says.

“We’re really talking about what they’re supposed to do,” he says.

The workshop will help men learn how to break that cycle, according to Mr. Bunch. Men will learn how to re-engage with their children and learn the risks that children face when they don’t have a healthy relationship with their father. They also will learn ways they can improve their relationships with their children’s mother for the benefit of the kids.

Mr. Bunch knows this subject well. He has personal experience being a non-custodial parent. His soon-to-be-published book, “It Takes Two Hands to Clap,” is a parenting guide for non-custodial fathers and explores how Mr. Bunch, his daughter’s mother and Mr. Bunch’s wife have all become effective parents in the girl’s life.

“You deal with it now or you deal with it later,” he says.

Lifestyles reporter Cathy Woolridge can be reached at cathyw@npgco.com