Being a father is ‘more than just sending a check every month’
Parenting workshop for men slated for Oct. 21
Parenting workshop for men slated for Oct. 21
Speaker Ted Bunch has a message for men, one that he will share at a parenting workshop Oct. 21.
Be a parent.
“It’s really much more than sending a check every month,” he says.
Mr. Bunch, a co-founder of the A Call to Men: The National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence Against Women, will be sharing his message at a workshop sponsored by the YWCA in conjunction with the Week Without Violence Committee. The workshop, “Practical Approaches for Men to Become More Effective Parents,” will be held from 1 to 3:30 p.m. Oct. 21 at the American Red Cross at 401 N. 12th St. The workshop is free, but interested people should RSVP to the YWCA at 232-4481.
Effective parenting is not just a women’s issue, it’s a community issue, says Kim Carroll, YWCA victim services director.
“We want healthy families and healthy relationships,” she says.
And a healthy family includes both the man and woman parenting, even if he isn’t the custodial parent.
Many times when men “leave the relationship, they leave the children, too,” Mr. Bunch says. And, men often blame women for becoming pregnant and then having the child. That has to stop, he says.
“We’re really talking about what they’re supposed to do,” he says.
The workshop will help men learn how to break that cycle, according to Mr. Bunch. Men will learn how to re-engage with their children and learn the risks that children face when they don’t have a healthy relationship with their father. They also will learn ways they can improve their relationships with their children’s mother for the benefit of the kids.
Mr. Bunch knows this subject well. He has personal experience being a non-custodial parent. His soon-to-be-published book, “It Takes Two Hands to Clap,” is a parenting guide for non-custodial fathers and explores how Mr. Bunch, his daughter’s mother and Mr. Bunch’s wife have all become effective parents in the girl’s life.
“You deal with it now or you deal with it later,” he says.
Lifestyles reporter Cathy Woolridge can be reached at cathyw@npgco.com
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"Deal with it now or deal with it later." Oh boy, here we go...
Having come from a torn family environment since I can remember anything, I know firsthand that it's never all the fathers fault and never all the mothers fault.
The same fathers who abandon share children with mothers who bad mouth those fathers every chance they get to their children. Real productive.
If money isn't everything, then why are the majority of these fathers required to make outrageous child support payments? If a father gets a better paying job, guess what happens? More money demanded by the courts. If he finds himself making less money - guess what happens? Nothing. He still must make outrageous payments (that reflect NOTHING of what it takes to support a child - it's only based on the fathers MONEY). Tell me again how it isn't all about money...
I can tell you the number one problem with children today.
People think their business is their own. People shut their doors and draw their shades and present a facade of perfection while in public. Some don't even do that; hitting their kids in public (not talking about a deserved spanking). Then when someone tries to interject they are told, "mind your business."
I do agree with one thing above, it does take a community to raise a child. Not just a mother and father.
Without community involvement at a young age, children have no clue that the decisions they make directly affect those around them... IN THE COMMUNITY.
So tell me again how it's none of my business that you are failing to raise your children adequately? On the contrary, so long as that child lives in my community, it should be my business. But not in the sense that people are thinking.
I'm not saying people need to broadcast what they're doing, I'm saying we simply need to be closer as a community.
How many times have you heard folks in this town say, "this town is too small, everyone knows everyones business."
I wish that were more true. We need people to truly care about each other, not just be nosey. It's for all our benefit.
Posted by MichaelH on October 12, 2008 at 8:56 a.m. (Suggest removal)Change the name to, "Practical approaches for PEOPLE to become more effective parents." Maybe that just isn't as catchy or maybe it doesn't reflect the founders goal of capitalizing on the now which includes the perception that men all of a sudden wanting a sense of involvement in their childrens lives.
For every man out there who "isn't doing enough," I can point to a woman who destroys every good thing a man has done in a childs life.
This isn't to be against women or for men. I'm simply saying we all need to step up and I hate seeing someone play on words to push an agenda. I don't care if the agenda is good or bad, but we need to be honest about what we call them and what the goals of these organizations are.
We need to STOP CREATING SEPERATIST GROUPS. We are all human beings and we need to start acting like it by acknowledging the fact that we are all in this together.
What is good for you is good for me. What is a detriment to you is a detriment to me.
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