Black Friday's over, but don't fret if you missed out on all the sales. It's Black Wednesday now, and you're just in time for one of the biggest sales events of the shopping season. And you don't even have to get up at 3 a.m. to beat the crowds.

Once again, here's my annual community-minded, civic-dutied compendium of Christmas shopping: "The Alonzo Weston Catalog of Entirely Fictitious St. Joseph Toys" for all your shopping needs.

We made a list and we've checked it twice, found the naughty and the nice.

Will you find a new TIF or school levy in your stocking on Christmas morning or will you receive an eviction notice or a pink slip? It doesn't matter, Santa's busy hanging out in Krug park every night anyway. He lost his job, too, when Mead closed.

Keep in mind, these toys are entirely fictional. They're made in the spirit of good-natured fun. So ease up and laugh a little. Pour yourself a sense of humor if you need one, but don't drink and drive. And give a little something to the Salvation Army and AFL-CIO Adopt-A-Family program for those who might not otherwise find many reasons to smile this year.

Happy shopping:

Uptown Candy Land Sweet Celebration game: Who will find the lost king that will turn the Uptown development project into a real estate Candyland? Win free red, green, blue, yellow, orange and purple paint and turn your neighborhood into a gum drop mountain.

Axiom Strategies board game: Engage in strategic battles on a chess board landscape to become king of a tax-free society. Comes with beautifully hand-carved wooden chessboard and Ken Reeder pawn pieces.

Chiefs Training Camp Lego set: See if you can build a colorful new practice facility with just a meager supply of tax funding blocks.

Big Daddy Frogger video game: Try to get the froggies across a Midtown street for a 5 a.m. barbecue while avoiding police and sidewalk hazards. Skillful players can advance up to the streets of Stonecrest or Lake of Twelve Oak game levels.

East Hills Mall colorforms: Your preschooler will learn basic business development skills from learning how to put the colorful die-cut franchise pieces inside the mall instead of in the parking lot.

Mead Santa Call of Duty: Fight opponents through dangerous jungles of unemployment, foreclosures and plant closings to place the Santa and reindeers back on top of the Mead building.

Super Mario Brothers in the St. Joseph sewers: Hire the popular video game plumber to rebuild the St. Joseph sewer system.

Sarah Palin Barbie fashionista: Dress your moose-hunting Alaskan former GOP vice presidential nominee and book author in gym clothes, fishing gear or campaign trail wardrobe. Strike a pose using only two points of articulation. John McCain doll currently out of stock.

Barack Obama magic eight ball: Can't decide on health care or Afghanistan? This Magic 8 Ball is just for you. Comes with 10 affirmative, five negatives and five maybes as possible answers.

Message Board World of Warcraft: Become any mythical figure you choose in this online role-playing game. Gameplay starts at 3 a.m. every morning.

Alonzo Weston can be reached

at alonzow@npgco.com.