Last week I received a late-night text message from my friend Dave. He had a relationship/break-up dilemma.

“What is the protocol for changing your status on Facebook after a break-up?” he asked.

Now, some might be tempted to say “Just do it. Once it’s done, it’s done.” I disagree with this statement.

(NOTE: What I’m about to say applies only to when the relationship ends well. If it ends badly, I say change your status ASAP and move on.)

When a relationship ends, even when it ends well, it sucks. You’re hurt, you’re sad, you’re feeling lonely. You’re likely wondering what the other person is thinking or if they’re missing you as much as you miss them.

So it doesn’t help to log onto Facebook and find that they changed their relationship status roughly 10 seconds after your relationship ended. Sorry, but it’s like a slap in the face(book).

After I broke up with my college boyfriend, Jay, I purposely was going to wait a few days before changing my status. Even though we both had felt the end was coming for awhile, I didn’t want him to think that I just couldn’t wait to tell the world that I was single.

So imagine my surprise when, the next day, I see that Jay had not only changed his dating status from “In a relationship” to “single,” but he had also changed his “Looking for” from “Friendship” to “dating, a relationship.” Awesome. I spend three years of my life with someone, we’ve been broken up for only two days, and he’s already looking for someone new?

Of course, that wasn’t the case. When I asked Jay about it later, he said he had just done that because he figured there was no point in waiting. He hadn’t thought that it might hurt my feelings.

But it did. And that’s my point: Even when a relationship ends well, you’re still raw and sensitive, so something as simple as a change in a Facebook status can set you off. That’s why I told Dave to wait to change his status. A couple of days won’t make a difference, but it can spare some hurt feelings.

– Lacey Storer | Stjoelive staff