Language translation proves a tricky enterprise, one not meant for the dim.

The more cruel readers of this space suggest English is not my native tongue. Sadly, I have no other language on which to resort.

Most baffling, some translated verse arrives in a new tongue with accompanying rhyme. It spans cultures, doing interlingual gymnastics, and sticks the landing.

Consider this sentence.

“He who will not economize will have to agonize.”

Sounds like a parody of an overwrought defense attorney. But the phrase survives two and a half millennia. Folks credit it to Confucius.

He lived in China five centuries before Christ’s birth. Chances are, Confucius had no anticipation of English or no foresight into the ways of internal rhyme. But the “-ize” assonance somehow crossed oceans.

In less politically correct days, Americans would deliver some mock or exaggerated wisdom and preface it with the words, “Confucius say.” Not “Confucius says,” which is the proper form.

The phrasing meant to emphasize stumbling bilingualism, leaving the impression of Asian assimilation as presented in long-ago Charlie Chan movies.

Native soil gives us a false sense of superiority. One can imagine the havoc Americans create when attempting fluency in the Cantonese provinces.

Or, as Confucius would say: “Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star.”

My sudden investment in these Eastern matters comes from the work of Congress last week.

In our chambers of government, Confucius got a shout-out.

First, understand that Congress operates these days like a teenage driver, stepping heavily on the accelerator before slamming on the brakes.

Hearings are held and an assortment of spending bills are passed, but most members bide their time while in-the-room lawmakers craft major legislation like health care reform.

On the House floor, representatives passed resolutions last week welcoming to Washington the Archbishop of Constantinople, recognizing Hispanic Heritage Month and congratulating Northwestern University for its women’s lacrosse championship.

All passed without opposition.

In the midst of these routine and mostly honorary actions, a resolution took root marking the 2,560th anniversary of the birth of Confucius.

The bill, which got 41 co-sponsors, said the Chinese sage counseled introspection, self-cultivation and sincerity.

A Missourian, Rep. Russ Carnahan, managed the legislation on the House floor. Unlike the matters of lacrosse and cultural significance, a split vote resulted. Still, the resolution passed 361 to 47, Northwest Missouri Congressman Sam Graves voting in the negative.

As laws are made more than 25 centuries into a Confucian world, self-cultivation sells at a higher price than introspection. Sincerity seems barely to register.

With the health care bill weighing in at nearly 2,000 pages, a robust attention span stands as the greatest personal attribute.

“By nature, men are nearly alike,” Confucius said, “by practice, they get to be wide apart.”

In a country of laws, the democratic process runs too often the route of confusion, not Confucius.

Maybe the philosophy of ancient China cuts too close to the bone.

Ken Newton’s column runs on Sunday and Tuesday.