Vikki Crouch raised her kids to mind their Ps and Qs.

And their thank yous, you're welcomes and excuse me's, too.

As they grew up, she also taught her children, Elisa and Dean, the proper way to shake hands, make good eye contact, greet someone and introduce people. And Dean had the added lesson of opening doors.

It was all a part of her plan to teach her kids good manners. Those skills, Ms. Crouch says, are still important.

"Manners aren't for just at the table," she says. "It includes every aspect of life. My son, to this day, will stand up when an older lady comes to the table."

Social graces, it seems, have gone by the wayside. According to a recent Lenox Etiquette survey, almost 40 percent of U.S. adults say Americans have bad manners.

Vicki Sindelar hopes to change that. The owner of Finishing Touches School of Etiquette says teaching your kids manners isn't difficult, it's just a matter of common sense and consideration.

Besides, she says, good manners make life a lot more pleasant.

"Just little things like a sit-down restaurant," Ms. Sindelar advises. "If you observe other children who are flying over the room and they're loud and they're having fits and they're playing with the food and things like that, we need to teach kids how to behave in settings like that."

That good behavior can start with something as simple as a coloring book and crayons.

"Let's face it, there are times when you're dining with people that you're not having a good time with and you really don't want to be there. We'd rather be playing with the fork or the knife," she laughs. "When kids are fairly young and they're in a restaurant, I give moms and dads some tools, the permission to take along some things that they can sit quietly at the table and do. If you're sitting and waiting for adults to finish a conversation and they're having three cups of coffee and the poor child is sitting there, give them something to do. Otherwise, it's torture for everybody."

Ms. Sindelar also has tools she offers kids - skills they need to walk into any social situation. Whether it's a formal dinner or a casual party, she wants them to know how to behave so they don't have to think too hard about doing the proper thing.

"I don't get upset if they use the wrong fork - that's not a big deal. The point is for the kids to be comfortable where they are and to behave and to respect other people. If we treat other people well, it usually relates to good manners. It all comes back to confidence and not being nervous about where you are," she says. "If we can teach kids how to do that, they've got a head start on a lot of other people."

Ms. Sindelar teaches kids special-occasion manners like table etiquette, proper attire and shaking hands. But she also shows them how to have good manners in their everyday life - serving as slumber party hosts, tips for school cafeterias and how to introduce their parents to a teacher.

"It is a lot of repetition, a lot of practice, a lot of role playing," she says. "We do those kinds of things, especially with introductions because we need to understand the order in which people are introduced. It might be that you're introducing your parents to your teacher, so you will want to say your teacher's name first because that is a person of importance in that meeting."

One of the biggest keys to kids learning their manners is for parents to show them how to behave.

"They learn more by watching you," Ms. Sindelar says. "That is true of any child, in any area of their life, but they learn more by watching you than they do from anything."

"I modeled it and then I used various situations as teachable opportunities," Ms. Crouch agrees. "I think that's pivotal. If you can't walk it, you can't talk it. So if you're not kind to other people, you can't preach kindness to your children. And if you don't try to be thoughtful at the table, you can't preach it to your children."

That modeling paid off. Shortly after her son, Dean, left for college, he went to a formal. It was there he realized his mom was right: Manners are important.

"He knew how to act and those around him didn't," she explains. "It made quite an impression on him. That right there, that helps mom make her point."

- Tamara Clymer, Kin magazine