You may be alone in your car, but you will never be alone on the road with these characters.

They’re “Taters” — a family of five — and they have relatives in every state.

Missouri State Highway Patrol Sgt. Sheldon Lyon has met each. On Wednesday evening, he told a group at East Hills Library how to profile and react to each potato on the roadway.

One of the most colorful of these motorists is the dictator (pronounced DICK-tator).

He is most often a male between 18 and 26, will draft you in heavy traffic and believes he is the most important person on the road, Mr. Lyon said.

“This is the original road hog. They like to speed, tailgate, and pass in a no-passing zone. We have programs designed for this person,” he said. “They are (also) the experts on the law. I’ll stop these folks, and they’ll tell me what they think of the law.”

The term “road rage” is often bandied about for “dictators,” and they’re not someone to get acquainted with on the side of the road.

“You don’t ever stop for these people,” Mr. Lyon said. “Call *55 on your cell phone, and it’ll ring to the nearest troop.”

A half-brother to Dick is the road “agitator” (Aggie-tater). These drivers are ready to make a right-hand turn from the wrong lane.

Mr. Lyon said the “aggies” will pass you, maybe use their turn signal, and then make a late, unsafe departure at the next road exit.

There is also the “spectator” (SPEC-tater), who drives solo in his own world on the roadway — reading the newspaper, spacing out or talking on the cell phone.

“This is the original ‘Sunday driver’,” Mr. Lyon said. “They’re not paying a lick of attention to what’s on the roadway.”

But one breed of driver who gives Roxie North, 74, her daily cardio is the “hesitator” (Hezzi-tater).

These drivers pull to a four-way stop, and seem unsure of the law to yield to the person on the right or the one who gets there first. “At a four-way stop, you don’t know what they’re going to do,” Ms. North said.

Mr. Lyon said the “Hezzi’s” also slow almost to a complete stop when the weather gets bad.

Finally, there are the “imitators” (IMMIT-taters), natural roadway followers, who don’t think for themselves, but follow the mind of the driver in front of them.

“Their mind is not scanning ahead ... it’s monkey see, monkey do,” Mr. Lyon said. “They usually have a surprised look on their face because life on the road is full of surprises.”

Mr. Lyon said the family of “Taters” are not the majority on the roadway, even though they cause most problems and get a lot of attention.

So far this year in Missouri, there has been a 15 percent reduction in traffic fatalities on the roadway compared to year prior. This, after Missouri grabbed national headlines in 2007 for falling under 1,000 fatalities.

Ahmad Safi can be reached

at ahmadsafi@npgco.com.